Let’s be honest, so many of us struggle with the concept of self-care because we prioritize caregiving over self-care. Once we’ve prioritized caring for everyone and everything else…we have nothing left for ourselves and see self-care as another chore that makes us feel inadequate about not finding time to execute it.
But there is one area of our lives where we are willing to schedule the time, space and money to pour into ourselves…and that is through our beauty routines.
For years, I stood firm on the very flawed idea that beauty routines are not a form of self-care. But over the past couple of years, I’ve faced some cognitive dissonance around this idea, as I’ve found that during times when I am not willing to carve out time for myself, I am still willing to maintain my beauty routines. I’ve reframed my thinking and what I’ve come up with is that beauty routines are one of the few ways or spaces where we feel the freedom to vindicate our high prerogative. And let’s be clear, we are entitled do that.
I want to take some time to explore how beauty routines can actually be an incredibly useful time of self-reflection, mindfulness and luxuriating relaxation.
No one…and I mean no one is exempt from beauty routines. So even if your routines are all about the basics like cleanliness and moisturization, meaning you don’t want to be dirty and you don’t want to be ashy, you have a routine.
Beauty routines can also include time spent planning your look or the look that you want your home to have. This is really a creative process, because it forces you to imagine what does not exist and work to pull it all together. This is time and energy that you are pouring into yourself.
When I think about times when I had little to no discretionary income and I was suffering from anxiety and depression, I was inflexible about taking long, relaxing bubble baths, daily. I refused to replace them with a quick shower, regardless of the time constraint. I indulged in rich moisturization routines and would often mix my lotions with oils to maximize my moisturization experience and kick up the fragrance.
When I could not afford to transform my living space the way I desired to do so, I became almost obsessive with cleanliness and home fragrances (luxury candles, room sprays and diffusing oils). Fragrance was an instant mood elevator.
I also got into plants and purchasing flowers weekly to invite beauty into my space. The daily routine of watering my plants reminded me to water myself and I would immediately pour myself a glass of water, after watering my plants.
There is something very therapeutic that happens when you pour yourself a glass of water…don’t just grab a plastic water bottle and chug it down. Start your day by pouring yourself a glass of water.
The way that I feel on the inside has always affected the lens through which I see my physical appearance. During times when I was completely dissatisfied with my appearance, I never missed a night of my skincare routine or tying my hair up. I often used this time to listen to guided meditations or podcasts. It was my way of trying to work toward feeling better.
During times when I lived on a tight budget, any discretionary income that I could squeeze out was allocated toward flowers, fragrance for the home and for the body, and luxurious soaps and clean/safe cleaning products.
These were all beauty routines in the most basic and essential form. When my house was clean and smelled good, I felt like I was creating a beautiful space for myself to live in.
Of course, as my emotional well-being improved and my income increased, these routines became more expansive and began to include routine hair appointments, professional residential cleaning services, pedicures, wax appointments, dermatology appointments, lash appointments, etc…
To be clear, when I am financially able to do so, I am fully opting in to all the beauty services. No matter how stressed, overwhelmed, out of balance or unhappy I may feel at any given point in life, I do not sacrifice my beauty routines.
I’ve spent alot of time thinking about how these routine appointments have shaped close interpersonal connections with beauty service providers like waxers and hair stylists over the years, as we share life experiences, worldviews and perspectives. Even during moments of isolation, my routine appointments kept me connected to my providers. These connections have enriched my life in a very special way.
And while the way that I feel about myself externally is a direct reflection of how I’m feeling on the inside, these beauty routines are reminders to maintain consistency and to keep charting the course, even when I’m feeling low. These routines serve as reminders, even during my darkest days, that another day is an opportunity to turn things around.
These routines have also challenged me during times that I didn’t feel beautiful, and during times when I was very unkind to myself, to reframe my beauty standards in a healthy, positive and more inclusive way.
My most valuable beauty routine has been therapy. Dedicating time to work on my inner beauty recreates the way I see the outer form.
Beauty routines are subtle reminders that it’s okay to lean into existing resources to get the support that you need, to feel good.
beautyxwellness.com 